Thanks, Harpgirl, I figured it was something like that and I like the term...it's confidence building.:-)

Lucy, thanks, it's not trepidation at being with the dying as much as being a novice on the dulcimer and playing in public, but I will approach it as positively as possible.

Sorcha, that's kind of what I am wondering about. I used to work on the terminal ward in hospital. I remember being really happy about my work and having an empathy with the patients which seemed of great help to them and me.

Now, in the shape I am in, on the surface it seems a little crazy to put out so much effort because I know it will effect my heart, which has already been broken so much, BUT in some Cosmic way, I am getting the message that this may be part of the healing my heart needs. I know when I do this kind of work online or on the phone, it does sap me of energy....I am thinking that maybe being with other people will lessen it in some ways which may be helpful.

Don't know is this makes much sense and it sounds egotistical to me, but it sure helps a bunch to talk it through with you all. Thanks so much.

luvyakat