Is it kind?
Is it true?
Is it necessary?

I think your mother summed it up exactly right, mousethief. Apply that two-out-of-three rule, and you'll never go wrong. It takes full account of the fact that "harmless" words can be used hurtfully, and "harmful" words can be used without causing hurt. What you've got to worry about isn't whether some word belongs in some list or other, but what it's actually saying and doing at the time you use it.

I am still pretty certain in myself that the term "political correct" was invented intentionally as a way of discouraging people from applying those kind of rules, and encouraging them to feel good about breaking them. It's a long time since I've heard anyone use the term except to say they don't trust it.