Forgetting where I put the damn envelope to post the darned thing back. It's on top of one heap of detritus and will (I know!) migrate downward over the next three weeks in a steadily clockwise fashion until it disappears down that great black hole where all "important" documents go - i.e., the re-cycling box by the back door where all the rest of the brightly coloured paper junk mail ends up.

Oh, but senseless questions - none so bad as the form they sent out at the cost of GBP 24 million to every pensioner in the Uk to encourage them to claim all their benefits that asked:

"Are you pregnant?"

My 62 year old male friend replied "Awaiting test results"