ELLA SPEED is in the key of D. I left out the last chord.

Here is a beaut. I believe it’s written by Tex Ritter, who does it too fast and only does it as a recitation. I recited the first and third verses and sing the second and fourth to the tune of “My Poor Nelly Grey” (Maggie Maggie May)

PLAYIN’ DOMINOES AND SHOOTIN’ DICE

I
Oncet I knowed a git-tar picker,
Lived his life on wine and liquor,
Rode around in a Rolls Royce limousine.
He was just about the proudest-feeling,
Wheeling, dealing, sneaking, stealing,
AGGRAVATIN’ MAN I’VE EVER SEEN.
Nothing but a midnight rambler,
Sometimes cheatin’ drunken gambler.
He’d try anything that wasn’t nice:
Hunting, golfing, fishing, swimming,
RUNNIN’ AROUND WITH OTHER WOMEN,
Playin’ dominoes, and shootin’ dice.

II
(D) Late one evening, he was dining,
(G) While the moon was brightly shining
(A7) With his secret love he was so (D) gay.
He would laugh and call her Honey,
(G) While she proudly spent his money,
And (A7) that’s the way they whiled the night a- (D) way.
(G) Huggin’, kissin’, dinin’, dancin’,
(D) Plannin’ parties, and roman- (B7) cin’,
(E7) Havin’ fun regardless of the (A7) price,
(D) Eatin’ caviar and chicken,
(G) Strummin’ his guitar and pickin’,
(A7) Playin’ dominoes, and shootin’ dice.

III
(Spoken again)
And then his wife came in and found him
With that pretty girl around him.
Towards that BUM she began to navigate.
WELL when he saw the crowd dividing,
He commenced some slippin’ and slidin’,
But deep down, ooooooooooooooh, he knew it was just too late.
Soon the crowd began getting thinner.
Folks got up and left their dinner.
No one seemed to have an appetite.
Not one person dared offend her.
One old gent jumped out the winder.
No one cared to stay and see the fight.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 22-Apr-02.