You think the Martin backpacker is **** and a uke would be a small guitar?What about the Martin Backpacker Uke??? that really is taking things to the extreme, however I couldn't resist it - it grabs the attention and really doesn't sound "that bad", have and like the papoose sounds nice in Nashville or open tuning (or using a shubbs partial capo) also like the Baby Taylor (prefer the tone of the newer mahogony fronted model)
Could try busking in the rain maybe the guitar would shrink - maybe that too silly.
Bye.................Pete