Here are some alternative first lines for those folks who don't like the crack reference:

Oh, my name is Fred, I'm an acid head...

Oh, my name is Mike and weed I like...

Oh, my name is Ray and I smoke a jay...

Oh, my name is Bill and I'll pop a pill...

Oh, my name is Ross and I mainline horse...

Oh, my name is Joe and I snort snow...


As they used to say: Name your poison!

--- Steve