For goodness sake, the song is parody.
Hyperbole is the best course of action. Don't change from my name is Jack and I smoke crack...unless you can find something stronger and more ridiculous. My name is Jack and I just finished smoking 10,000 pounds of crack while mainlining a quart of heroin and dissolving a hockey pucked size tab of acid in my ass. If anything, I would add more ludicrous 'scary' images...maybe you could be playing a guitar made of hemp ...and drop some of the more positive images or split the two images more with the first verse being a caricature image and the following verses (after some sort of segue) a more true to life depiction... or for that matter, an idealization