Brothers and Sisters to the north, this is a sad day for me. I have recently learned some things about Canada that have me deeply troubled.

Canada, home of Dudly Do-right and Ranger Gord. The land of the forthright and brave protectors of correct spelling and perfect grammar. The last bastion of the polite. Defender of all things honest and good. The country I think of as my second home, my ice hut away from home, if you will, has been foisting lies upon its unsuspecting citizens.

Yes, you recoil in horror at the thought, as I did myself, but it's true.

What lies you ask? I'm embarrassed to tell you, but the only way to dispel darkness is to shed some light upon it.

I have learned that for generations, innocent and unsuspecting Canadian citizens have been indoctrinated with the flagrantly untrue tale that Red Rose tea is "Only available in Canada... pity".

And if that's not bad enough, I have also learned that Canada's "World's Biggest Book Store" is, according to my inside source's inside source (ahem... VP Bob), not the world's biggest book store, but in fact the world's third biggest book store.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this terrible news to those of you across the border whom I have grown to know and love, almost as family. But there it is.

And now it's time to make a stand! Take up your pens and your righteous indignation and write this wrong (er... right this wrong). Let these shameful liars know you will not stand for such moral turpitude one moment longer! We depend on you Canada. The world depends on you. Don't let us down.

(So how about that dual citizenship? Can I have it, please? Awww... c'mon ...pretty please?)

Carol

p.s. flattop made me do it.