Here goes,

Well, I came home on a Sunday night as drunk as drunk can be.
I saw two balls inside the bed where my old balls should be.
I called my wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me,
Who owns these balls inside the bed where my old balls should be?"
"Well, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
They're two lovely golf balls that my mother sent to me."
It's many the day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more,
So I got my bloody golf club and I whacked them out the door!

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 9-Aug-02.