Physicists sing X-mas(s) Carols

We Three Quarks

We three quarks fine particles are
Bearing charm we travel afar
Fields and forces, spin of course is
Multiplied by h-bar.

Oh, quarks are wondrous, quarks are light
Quarks have colors clear and bright
Still misleading, still exceeding
All physcists' insight.

We three quarks trade gluons all day
All baryons are made this way
Confined inside, we always hide
Unseen forever to stay.

Oh, quarks are wondrous, quarks are light
Quarks have colors clear and bright
Still misleading, still exceeding
All physcists' insight.

Frosty The Photon

Frosty the photon
Had a very merry soul
Though he spent his life
Running back and forth
To the ends of a dipole.

Frosty the photon
With momentum h-bar-k
Though he had the right
To be known as light
He was called a gamma ray.

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The Ideal Physics Song

(sung to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Masses slide down frictionless inclines
Wheels will spin eternally,
Light rays converge from perfectly straight lines
And functions change incrementally.
Everyone knows things really don't behave this way
And still we all pretend they do.
Tiny tots have no spin, so they say
And we convince ourselves it's true.

We know it's true only to first order
That crystals act as if they haven't any border
And only freshman have to try
To see that E and B point just in X and Y.

Remember one is on the order of infinity
And dividing by zero ain't so bad
With these helpful hints, all is simplicity
It's the real world,
It's the real world,
It's the real world that's sad.