He has! Ctrl-Alt-Del - that way we can all see something naggingly familiar.

Admittedly it is different on NT and 2000...

Did you know there had been a Geordie release of Windows?

Microsoft Announcement!

RE: Geordie Version Of Windows 2000

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie version of Windows 2000 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle. If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen. It reads Windiz 2000 with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle superimposed on a photograph of the Tyne Bridge. It is shipped with the Brown Ale screen saver.

Also note:

Recycle Bin	is labelled 'Aal ya shite'
Dialup Networking	is called 'Me mates'
Control Panel	is known as 'How te f*** aboot wi the settins'
Hard Drive	is referred to as 'Big disk'
Floppies	are known as 'Them litil plastic bastads'

Other Features:

OK	- it's aalreet
cancel	- f*** that
yes	- aye
no	- nee f***in' chance
find	- gan gerit ya f***ing sel'
goto	- owa there
help	- ah cannit dee it
stop	- divvent move
start	- hadaway and shite
settings	- settins
programs	- stuff that daes stuff
personal folder	- me ain shite

Also note that Windiz 2000 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs exclusive to Windiz 2000:

tiperiter	- a word processor
cullarin book	- a graphics package
addin masheen	- calculator
tunes	- CD player
porn	- Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchas	- a graphics viewer
dole money	- accounting software
Toon	- a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores
bevvy	- local off-licences by area code and price of Brown Ale
tax records	- usually an empty file
Kappa tracksuit inventory	- usually a 5 meg file

We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition.
You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.