Just recently I fell heir to this compendium of computer terms for country folk.

LOG ON: Makin' a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the trunk.
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time.
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter.
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside.
SCREEN: What t o shut during black fly season.
BYTE: What them dang flies do.
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang yer keys.
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastical knives and forks.
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn.
MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.
PORT: Fancy flatlander wine.
ENTER: Northener talk fer 'C'mon in y'all'

Now I finally understand all this fancy talk!!!