A German guy approaches a prostitute, "I vish to buy sex vit you".

"OK", says the girl, "I charge 50 an hour".

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

"No problem" she replies, cautiously, "I can do a "little kinky".

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck call.

"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs".

The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her elbows and knees.

"Now you vill get on your hans und knees".

She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you".

She finds this odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.

The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck call. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:

"That was totally amazing, where did you learn how to do that?"

"Ah" says the German "Four-sprung duck technique".

Graham.