The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #33702   Message #451238
Posted By: catspaw49
28-Apr-01 - 04:47 PM
Thread Name: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
I spent a summer working for a Kosher Catering Service before going to college and it was filled with jokes, although not the formal kind.....more of an ongoing experience which was also educational.

We did a "Bonds for Israel" fundraiser at the Governor's mansion which involved cooking the food at the temple, transporting the food, dishes, silverware...the works.....from the temple to the dinner and then boxing everything up dirty and taking it back to the temple to wash the stuff. First, it took us three days to wash the dishes (600 placesettings-6 courses), I mean we had almost THREE garbage cans FULL of silverware alone. WE would run out to lunch at McDonald's and have to wash our hands before we could continue unloading greasy dishes. There was a certain amount of humor in that situation alone.

We had cooked all the food and the damn truck broke down so the boss (Jewish himself of course) gets on the phone and tries to find a racked truck to borrow. The only one he could find came from a Kosher meat supplier, but this wasn't his "Kosher" truck. As a matter of fact, it belonged to his other non-Kosher shop and had just returned from a run. It smelled strongly of ham and the floor was a slippery mess. We load up the racks of pre-cooked chicken and pans of side dishes and take off for the 10 blocks to the mansion. A few blocks down the road, the boss takes a turn and there's crashing from the back. We pull over and there are stuffed chicken breasts sliding all over the floor...............yep, we picked them up and served them!

One large temple in Cincy had two separate kitchens with the dining hall in between. It was impossible to mix up the meat and milk. BUT, in Zanesville where the Jewish community is very small, so was their kitchen.....I MEAN TINY!!!!!! We do a late milk lunch on Saturday and have a large dinner to do that evening....but we can't light up a thing til after sundown. So you got 25 people in a kitchen that would be cramped with 8, and at whatever time (something like 8:11) EVERYTHING goes nuts trying to get it all underway ASAP. The only phrase that describes it is "Like a monkey fucking a football." It was chaos.

Last story.........The funniest/weirdest catered event was of couse a bris. It must have been a well known family because it was a huge affair. So at one point we're serving the "horse dervies" and pouring wine at an alarming rate when I realize that there is a lot of screaming from a small room off the main hall. Yeah, sure enough, the parents, mohel, cantor, rabbi, and this poor kid screaming his ass off, are coming out the door. Everybody but the kid is grinning, the crowd is completely sloshed................I'm just standing there with my mouth open like the goyish lad I was and the boss comes up and says, "These are such happy events."

Spaw