Yarmulke ( ya-ma-ka) or kipot (kee-pa). Both are aceptable terms. A Jewish vampire is impossible. It's not Kosher.
Bernard, Jews do tell jokes on themselves; as do Scots, Blacks and Poles. But what is acceptable from an insider, is resented from an outsider.
Your Jewish friends may tell you jokes and may accept and laugh at your jokes, but if you told them to someone from the same congregation who didn't know you, you might get a very different reaction.
Alexi, I've heard the same "joke" in Milwaukee about the Polish and/or Italian neighborhoods. I wasn't amused then either.
Am I Jewish?
No. I am not.
However, my wife and son are, I play in a Klezmer band and am active in the local Jewish community. Call me a Blue-eyed Cousin if you like.
I was born in the mountains of North Carolina, and grew up listening to tourists making jokes about "dumb hillbillies", so yeah, I tend to be a little sensitive about any kind of ethnic joke.
I'm truly sorry you won't be reading my "childish drivel". You might have learned something.

troll