It is difficult to say too much without hearing it but if as you say it is relentless and drives along maybe that's exactly what it should do, especially with all those streets! Interesting idea that all the street names, seems to work well.
I have been thinking some more and I think the impression may have been given in these threads that writing songs is about producing hundreds of songs in order to write one good one. While I'm sure there is some truth in that, I think that it is possible to produce a good song at the first attempt.
Its rather like the lottery, you would expect that the more attempts you make the more likely you are to win, when in fact you could buy just one ticket and win.
Again it is probably a little discouraging to read the guitar thread and feel that to produce good songs they have to be written on a vintage Martin or a Gibson. Of course that is not the case.
I think what I am trying to say is don't give up.
I liked your song Kris very much.