So Matt, you'll need to water that Torpedo Oil down with a drop of D76 and see what develops. (You'll do fine with your portfolio, don't worry.)

When my card finally ran out, I had to resort to my piggy bank. Unfortunately it only contained two pounds, seven and fourpence. Which shows you how long it's been since I've been flush enough to add to it.

And who authorized that bloody carpet? Ain't sawdust bleedin' good enufforya?

Seein' as we're talking Latin now, I'll say it before Skiff does - "Amo, Amas, Amattress" Ta Da!!!!

Just leave that TTBeer out, the Biker crowd that gets in here on Wednesday nights won't know the difference. They'll sup the lot.

Bertie Boy.