The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #7359   Message #45611
Posted By: Bert
16-Nov-98 - 10:48 AM
Thread Name: Songwriter's Forum
Subject: RE: Songwriter's Forum
Peter T,

I'ts a good song it flows nicely from beginning to end.
If you want to cut down the 'drive' (but only you can decide that) you could cut out the repetition in the first two lines of each verse.
Also, a lot of the tension comes from having three lines in the verse. If you make it four lines it will seem more even. You could use some variation of your 'end of your road' coda as the last line of each verse
If it still needs a break or chorus, it could be about 'where you want to be'

Play around with it some, but if it just won't change, remember, sometimes you need a strong song.

Good one, wish I'd thought of that theme. Bert.