This is an interesting one, running at the same time as the thread about performing with family!
I can see it from both sides. Hammerite is also 10 years old and has been performing at singarounds on & off since she was 8. Sometimes with me & sometimes solo. She also performs with me at an open mic locally (only in the schl holidays as it is on wed night & ends very late).
She loves it and it gives her a lot of confidence. We don't pressure her & sometimes she just doesn't fancy it for a while. She's not an excuse to let me perform, so she's not being used. She has been going to festivals since in a pram, so she's a real folkie kid & has absorbed the etiquette & behaves like an angel at sessions(I would say that though...)
But that is us - and I can see why you would have reservations about the particular situation you describe. I sometimes worry that Hamm might be setting precedents that could cause problems in the future - but so far there has been no flood of other kids wanting to do the same - but it is a worry with an amplified session that might have a bit of a cool image. I've seen a few other kids performing and they are generally very much a part of their folk community and its always worked well. However it probably depends on your audience (and the child of course). The audience at the open mic is a local pub and Hamm is very much accepted & missed on schoolnights. Might not work everywhere though. As a parent I'd be very alert for whether we were imposing or causing any awkwardness & would not take her somewhere I thought she wasn't welcome. I also make sure I ask the publican first whether its OK for her to be there.
She is certainly better than some of the adult performers, so I don't think there's a quality issue there. Its a very informal all-welcome sort of session
As regards exposure to bawdy talk & material - that's really a parental issue I think. Hamm has been mixing with adults & folkies all her life, and I have always felt that because I take her to these places I shouldn't expect anyone to behave any different to if she wasn't there. It doesn't seem to do her any harm & she takes things in her stride. Nothing can be any worse than the trash you get on the TV these days - so I'd say that shouldn't be an issue.
I'm really glad and grateful that people have been so accepting of Hamm as a participant in music, and most people see kids like Hamm as being part of the future of folk.
How do you think your audience & other performers will feel about a kid performing? Have you tried asking some of your regulars what they think?
I think your only problem might be the setting of a precedent. But if there were a sudden flood of sons & daughters then perhaps you could deal with that by partitioning off a particular night or portion of the time for acts with kids in (eg only the first 3 spots could have kids, or before 9pm or something). If no flood then no problem. I think that if you did get a rush of less serious kid-performers then you would find it would tail off pretty quickly, as most kids would shudder at the thought anyway. Maybe you could give it a trial on the clear understanding that it was only a trial & reserve the right to revert to adult-only (or over-14s or whatever) if you wanted.
I don't think the auditioning idea would work particularly well. Sounds unweildy & open to arguments if you reject someone....
Personally I am in favour of giving them a chance, I'm sure it will be fun. Perhaps you could suggest that the bloke can include his son in just some of his performances & not all (to avoid the exploitation thing). It may be that that was just a figure of speech anyway.
Having cogitated whilst writing this - I've come to the strong conclusion that you should let him perform, but make sure you have sufficient control to avoid a flood if it threatens (but I really don't think it will).
Best of luck to you all.
And let us know how it goes...
Kris