MMario - You do understand why green dresses like a hooker, don't you? Heck, even school kids know what green eminems do to ya.

if blueberries aren't blue, and blackberries aren't black, what color aren't raspberries?

Does anyone remember the mint eminems they put out (quite) a few years ago called Royals? Those had all of todays variations beat, hands down.

Never seen rules for eating eminems (other than save the green ones for your girlfriend), but I have seen a contest...

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, a couple colors appear to be tougher, but until I am able to confirm my initial results, I cannot disclose which colors these are. My results are quite consistent with respect to the new blue M&Ms which appear to be genetically inferior, and I hypothesize that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation--a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ, 17840-1503 USA, along with a 3"x5" card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free half-pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

-----

Just a personal note--in my opinion, the assumptions underlying this experiment have not been thought out adequately. Is it ethically--or edibly--desirable to breed into this experimental model the single "hard coat" trait? What about selecting for higher chocolate content? Or less runnyness of exterior dyes when the candies are placed on top of ice cream sundaes?