I found the basic "I'd Rather Make Coffee Than Love" in the DT, but the three verses given seemed incomplete storywise, so I wrote the first verse given below. No tune was given, so I wrote one, and found the original two-line chorus inadequate, so I've added two lines to the chorus.

The bold-faced parts below are my additions; ordinary typeface are as it appears in the DT.

Now if I just had a way to submit my tune I'd be happy!

I like to introduce this as "A song that points a moral: When you're looking for your one-and-only, be VERY careful where you find her!

Dave Oesterreich

I'D RATHER MAKE COFFEE THAN LOVE

He met her at Starbucks, he bought her a cup
They sipped and they flirted, while he picked her up.
It was "My pad or yours," but when push came to shove
She preferred making coffee to love.

Chorus:
She'd rather make coffee than love
She preferred making coffee to love.
Her outspoken credo was "Damn the libido,
I'd rather make coffee than love!"

Though he brought her sweet candy, a flower, a dove
She preferred making pots of hot coffee to love.
Though from Everest he plucked her a star from above
She preferred making coffee to love.

cho:

She would even brew scrapings from overdone toast
She would open her arms to Sumatran French Roast
Her cafe au lait was the lait she loved most
"I'm Queen of the Bean," was her boast.

cho:

He'd have given her Cuba for one litle kiss
A Vesuvio brewer, accounts with the Swiss
When he married her, thinking that thus he'd find bliss
She preferred making coffee to love.

cho:

DRO