>What Should I Wear Tonight?

A suit would suit you

>Will My TV Work If I Don't Plug It In?

No

> Why Are there 88 Keys On a Piano?

This page gives a brief history of the Piano's development and should anwer your question.

>Brown or Black Socks?

Black, every time

>Do I Have to Brush My teeth 3 times a day?

No, but your dental hygiene will improve if you do

>What is the optimum number of ply for toilet paper?

Current research suggests 3

>Is It okay to leave the toilet seat up?

If you are male and live alone, yes. Otherwise no

>Which kind of ketchup should I use on fries?

Heinz Tomato

>What if I store ice cream at 33 degrees?

It will begin to melt (albeit slowly)

>And Lastly, can I make a simple fucking decision in my life or answer my own useless fucking questions without consulting Mudcat?

No, I do not have that ability.

I hope this helps