I didnt finish a sentence earlier, I meant to say that she even acknowledges that right now she is more attracted to the physical thing than men who are probably more suitable for her. thanks Karen for your comments its too bad about your best friend, its hard to say if you could have handled it any other way, your friend might have found it difficult to be around you and your husband. But obviously your husband and his friendship was more important to you. ddw-- thanks for your opinion too, I certainly hope Im honest with myself - I dont want her to remain single I do wish her happiness, if not with me then with someone else but right now I need to distance myself for awhile. I didnt want a slave either just a relationship, its hard when some guy she picks up on the street can get farther in matter of days than I have in 2 years. She says hes a jerk and yet she still sees him. But when she needs help with something (shes in the process of moving with her roommates to another house) she asks me. weve had some time apart in the past and admittedly it has been a good thing, I do hope to be able to maintain a friendship in the long run.