THEY SENT A WUMMAN
(Nancy Nicolson)

Ah sent for the doctor, Ah telephoned the day
The doctor was an awfa time a-comin'
Ah sent for the doctor but sorry for tae say
A doctor never came - they sent a wumman

But ah let her make me better
Then Ah asked her could she no get intae nursin
Ah sent for the doctor but when she went away
Ah couldnae understand why she was cursin

Ah sent for the pilot, Ah telephoned the day
The pilot was an awfa time a-comin'
Ah sent for the pilot but sorry for tae say
A pilot never came - they sent a wumman

But she roared off and she soared off
Then in she came and made a perfect landing
But why she simply wouldnae just hae been an air hostess
Ah've got to say is past my understanding

Ah sent for the polis, Ah telephoned the day
The polis was an awfa time a-comin'
Ah sent for the polis but sorry for tae say
A polis never came - they sent a wumman

But she nabbed the boy that grabbed the
Payroll fae the office in the High Street
But still Ah felt she should be telt it's no a lassie's job
Ah wouldnae want her on the beat in my street

Ah sent for the fairmer, Ah telephoned the day
The fairmer was an awfa time a-comin'
Ah sent for the fairmer but sorry for tae say
A fairmer never came - they sent a wumman

But her coos were and her soos were
The very best, the top o' a ' the biddin
And all I did was ask her had her father stayed at hame
The next Ah kent that Ah was in the midden

So Ah prayed tae God Almichty, Ah prayed tae him the day
The Guid Lord was an awfa time a-comin
Ah prayed tae God Almichty, and glory glori-a
The Great Almichty came - she was a wumman

And She viewed me, She how d' ye do-ed me
Said, Ma lad ye willnae listen, ye're no learnin
So here's a little lesson boy - ye're comin back again
An this time as a woman ye're returnin

Ah sent for the doctor, Ah telephoned the day
The doctor was an awfa time a-comin'
Ah sent for the doctor and I'm very pleased tae say
That when the doctor came she was a wumman

Murray, I haven't seen Nancy Nicolson's name anywhere for a few years now. Hope she is well!