The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #35029   Message #476073
Posted By: mousethief
04-Jun-01 - 01:57 PM
Thread Name: BS: Miccas gone limp
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp
Well, I can't say anything to the Parrot question.

If the limpness continues, definitely talk to your doctor. With the new medicines (like Viagra) on the market, there's no need to stay limp for long.

Did you hear the one about the two guys on crutches? There were these two guys on crutches in a small town somewhere in the heartland. One guy had a brown shirt, and one guy had a blue shirt. They meet out in front of a grocery store, and start comparing injuries. Before long, one of them challenges the other to a crutch-race. They get the barrista at the coffee stand to agree to referree, and they line up in front of the stand. One lap around the grocery store, and whoever reaches the coffee stand again last has to buy the other a latte.

So the barrista says "Go!" and they're off. They are thumping down the straitaway, toward the first corner. They take the corner and are now racing down the side of the store. People on the sidewalk start cheering, some for the one guy, and some for the other. Now they're headed for the second turn. The guy in the brown shirt has about a five-foot lead on the guy in the blue shirt, as they hit the turn. Just around the corner, however, is a huge truck (lorry) unloading groceries at the store's loading dock. "Truck!" yells the guy in the brown shirt, just before he slams into the grille and slumps to the ground.

The guy in the blue shirt heard the other guy's shout, and the THUMP! which followed it, and so he slowed down, and avoided hitting the truck. He crutched on over to his opponent, and said, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Just then the truck starts up, and the two men hear the brakes release.

"Um, yeah, stop the truck!" says the guy in the brown shirt, who is still lying in front of it.

"Hey! Stop the truck!" yells the guy in the blue shirt, "My pal's in front of it and can't get up!"

But the trucker can't hear him over the roar of the engine. He puts the truck in gear and starts to roll forward. The guy in the brown shirt gets an idea, and flings one of his crutches into the air. The trucker sees it, and stops the truck. He gets out of the cab, and rushes out to see what has happened.

Okay, imagine what it looks like for the trucker -- there's a guy in front of his truck, lying on the ground, with one crutch near him; the other has flown up into the air!

"Oh my God!" he says, "Are you okay?!"

The guy with the blue shirt appears around the corner of the truck, dragging the other guy's crutch (the one he threw) with him.

The guy in the brown shirt sees what has happened, and what the trucker THINKS has happened, and thinks to make some quick cash out of this.

"I'll sue!" he yells. "I'll sue you for every penny you're worth!"

The trucker throws up his hands, climbs back up into the truck, and starts to inch forward again.

"What are you doing?!" yells the guy in the blue shirt.

"Well, if I'm going to get sued anyway," says the trucker, "I might as well get some enjoyment out of it!"

The guy in the brown shirt, however, manages to pull himself out from in front of the truck, and yells up at the driver, "Are you crazy?!"

"Well," the trucker says, "At least I didn't slam into a parked truck on crutches!"

Moral: Never let Alex/Mousethief start telling a really long story. Bwahahaha.