So the guy goes into the pet store and sees this parrot looking bird, but it's the ugliest and most disgusting looking bird he's ever seen. The feathers are ragged looking and all in dull shades and it seems to have eyes that are two different colors and completely evil looking. The beak was huge and hooked but had a strange twist in it and the edge seemed to serrated. Staring at it, mouth agape, he was approached by the store owner and asked if he needed assistance. "Yeah," he said. "Tell me, just what the hell kind of bird is that?"
The owner sighed and said it was a parrot, but some kind of mutant strain that he was unfamiliar with, so in the store they just called it a "Crunchy Bird." "What?" replied the customer, "You've got to be kidding." The proprietor again sighed and said, "I'll show you." with that, he turned to this hideous looking bird and said, "Crunchy Bird......Chair." In a nanosecond the bird flew over and landed on a nearby chair and with blinding speed, devoured it, leaving only a pile of sawdust.
"Ho-leee Shit!!!" gasped the astonished customer. "Yeah, that's about it," said the owner and then said, "Crunchy Bird......Table." Again the bird flew over and with the same speed, completely destroyed the table.
"I GOTTA' HAVE IT!!!!" screamed the customer with a huge grin on his face. The owner was appalled as no one had ever expressed any interest after seeing the bird in action, as if it's looks weren't bad enough. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth though, he said, "Sold!......But I gotta' ask you why in the world you'd want a bird like this?" The customer gave him a smile and said................
"I'm gonna' take that ugly SOB home and my wife will ask, 'What the hell is it?'.........And when I tell her, she's gonna' say, "Crunchy Bird? Crunchy Bird my ass!"