OK, so it's still too passive/aggressive for me. Somebody might take it seriously.

Too brain-dead from a summer cold to think of a verse...

Green are my plants, and the grass stains on my pants
Lovely is the garden full of roses
I'd love the smell of it, if it didn't smell like shit
But the strongest odor's what gets up our noses

(I use Cock-A-Doodle-Poo on my garden, and boy, does it stink!)