Dearest Cleigh,

as a social worker I think it only fitting that I should come and iniate a Possum Care Proceedings Assessment, with a view to taking you into care ( mine) and ensuring that you are treated in future with the love and respect that any small mammal needs in order to achieve his full, wind-assisted potential.

With respect to insisting you share your living quarters with a person or persons not of similar interests, age or indeed species, I feel this is a grave departure from those guidelines put in place to ensure your well-being and your carers have commited a serious breach of the responsibilities entrusted to them.Tell Spaw he may expect to hear from my department in the near future.

If you feel yourself to be in danger of physical harm, you can of course phone the ASPCP ( American Association for the Protection of Cleigh O'Possum) who will come and gun him down for the dog he is.

Your friend
Morty