Woe! Woe unto them that forceth their religion down the throats of others! A plague of locusts and horny toads and --um-- nasty snakes with long, pointy teeth shalt descend upon them, yea verily, nibbling and biting and otherwise making their days unpleasant! They shall walk but not get anywhere, and all the phone booths shall be broken when their cars break down on the one day they leaveth their cell phones at home! Fungus shalt grow between their toes, and their hair shalt not have a smooth, bouncy feel, no matter which shampoo they do use! Their yogurt shalt go bad in the carton on the way home, and their bodily hair shalt grow faster than they are able to shave it off! Beware, oh generation of obnoxious and unfriendly fundamentalist-types! The nails of thy fingers shalt ship and break, yea, even right before thy big date on Saturday night. Thy children shalt grow up to hate thee, and even when they doth call, it shalt be collect. Thy grass shalt have any number of weeds therein, and thy windows shalt leak in the winter and refuseth to close in the driving summer rains that doth fall from yonder sky.

Alex