The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #35501   Message #484898
Posted By: Pene Azul
16-Jun-01 - 04:28 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish etc)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE LOBSTER SONG
THE LOBSTER SONG

This can be sung to the tune of "I Feel So Lonely" by Elvis.

Oh mister fisherman
home from the sea
have you got a lobster
you can sell to me?

Chorus - either
(Elvis)
I feel so lonely baby,
I feel so lonely baby,
I feel so lonely I could die

…or…
Singing oh-tiddly oh,
Shit or bust,
Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust

Oh yes sir, yes sir
I have three
and the biggest of the bastards
I shall sell to thee

Chorus

So I took the lobster home
and I couldn't find a dish
so I put it in the place
where the missus has a piss

Chorus

And half way through the night
as you well know,
up gets the missus
to let the waters flow

Chorus

Well first I heard a groan
and then I heard a grunt
and there was the lobster
hanging from her cunt

Chorus

So the missus grabs the poker
and I grabbed the broom
and we chased the fucking lobster
around and round the room

Chorus

Well we hit it on the head
and we beat it on the side
and we hit the fucking lobster
until the bastard died

Chorus

There's a moral to this story
the moral is this,
Always have a shuftie
before you have a piss

Chorus

That's the end of the story
there is no more,
there's an apple up my arse
and you can have the core