Guest, I added the ^^ harvesting birdie to show that I harvested the song for the Digital Tradition. Vectis, do you know the true name of the song, or the name of the songwriter?
Here's another version:

THE LAMENT OF THE ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED COW (The Hummock's Lament)

I have just given birth to a calf Sir,
And with motherly pride I am full
But please do not chaff and please do not laugh
When I tell you I have not had a bull.

The meadow's the dreariest place ever,
The paddock is no longer gay
For one moment's fun in a year's dismal run
Has by science been taken away.

I haven't had the ghost of a passion
I haven't had the earth of a binge,
I haven't been loved, but mirthfully shoved
With a dirty big brass bound syringe.

You may say that's all very well Sir,
There are some things us cows cannot say,
But those Land Army tarts who play with our parts
Still get it the old fashioned way !!!!

I found it here (click)
-Joe Offer-