I play the Bodhran, and I am good at playing, but I only play when invited too, which is quite often, However I do object to people playing(thinking they are playing) when in fact all they are doing is banging, also when more than one person plays, all using different beats, if a mess, an embrassemment for those who CAN play. It gives us good Bodhran players a bad name also more important it gives the instrument a bad name, when in fact if played correctly it like any other instrument can be beautiful to lisen to. If I was you just tell him outright, if it offends him, so what, he is offending others.