Not a funny, but when I spasmed really badly several years ago, the only thing that helped was FLAT on my back on ice packs. Was only allowed to get up to pee, and it took 3 of us to accomplish that. Heavy duty pain drugs and a week later a cortisone injection.
Couldn't stand up long enough to shower, hurt like HELL to sit down to pee, and it took 4 months to really heal. You ever try to eat FLAT on your back?? No pillows under the head, either. Hope yours is not that bad, dearie.
(Watch your ass, Whizzy is after it..........)