Oh NO!!! Not the Tale of the Hungry Duck!!!! She'll KILL me deader than an A/C repairman!!!!
Darlin'GG, just joshin wi'ya... stay away from the drugs. I'm sending you a big ol'mental footrub from the girl. Tea too.
This dumb-ass A/C repairman shows up to work one day with a black eye, and his buddy says "Where'd ya get the shiner?"
"Well," he says, "I was on the bus, and this Goddess sat in front of me. When it came to her stop, I noticed when she stood up that her skirt had stuck in her butt a bit, so I reached up and gave her hem a little tug. She whirled around and decked me."
"Damn Sam," says the buddy. "I guess you won't be doing THAT again!"
The next day, the same dumb-assed guy gets to work, and now his other eye is blacker than the first. His buddy asks him, "What the hell happened this time?"
"Well" says he, "I was on the bus again, and the same Goddess sat in front of me, got up at the same spot, and I'll be damned if her skirt wasn't tucked in her bum just a touch. Couldn't help it, so I reached up REAL gentle like and gave it a tug. She whupped 'round and gave me another shiner."
"GawDAMN Sam, you are about the dumbest thing since CrapCoffee."
Third day, old Sam walks in to work, with his two shiners and a brand-spanking new neck brace. "JAYSUS!! What the hell happened to YOU?"
"Well," says Sam, "I got on the same ol' bus, and whouldn't ya know it, that same Goddess sat in front of me. She got up at the same stop, and I'll be damned if her skirt wasn't puckered up again..."
"Aw, man....please tell me you DIDN'T"
"Oh NO!" says Sam. "The guy next to me reached up and gave her hem a tug, but I told him "NO! She doesn't like it when you do that!!" Then I shoved it back in!"