Well it ain't no use in straightening your back, babe
The back that's wracked with pain
Ain't no use in straightening your back, babe
You'll just get knocked down again,
When the pain from your muscles makes you start to spin
Remember that the Mudcats are yore lovin' kin,
And you're in awful fine shape for the shape yore in!
But don't stand up, you'll fall down!!!
It ain't no use a sittin' at your 'puter, babe
With yer modem turned way high!
Ain't no use in sittin' at yore 'puter babe,
If typin's gonna make ya cry
Just get yerself a couple of them chocolate malts,
A CD fulla Texas two-step shmaltz
An' a long hot bath full of Epson Salts!
But don't stand up -- you'll fall down!
Thank yew fer makin' me what Ah am today, babe!
B. D. Zimmerman