Oh, yes, there are powers at work here... THEY will control the horizontal... THEY will control the vertical...

"Pull up a 'stool'..." I love it!

Wish I could come out with a few more good puns to pre-seed this next song, but I'll a-void doing so, ass I probably would've rectum. Maybe I'd better just make a movement to can it.


DIGGIN' UP BEANS
(Tune: "Diggin' Up Bones" performed by Randy Travis)

Well, last night I dug your coffee up from some ol' civet's spoor
I set it in my basket and I bent to dig up more
I got my pay last Wednesday and it didn't have much green
Yeah, I've been gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
For brewin' in your single-cup machine
You'll drink it in the mornin' on your mansion's mezzanine
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans


When I went through my pantry, I found out that it was bare
No pretty pastries like you buy in Starbucks over there
You pay 300-plus for coffee, just so you'll be seen
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
You think it's such a nice, bucolic scene
What clothes I've got are reeking, and you're dressed up like a queen
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans


While you go through your jewelry and you pick a pretty ring
I sift sh*t through my fingers and I give that cr*p a fling
Across this lonely berry patch to vent my starving spleen
Yeah, tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
The boss just raised my quota to be mean
You pinch your nose and drink your coffee, feelin' so serene
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans


(According to the COWPIE website, the original song was written by Paul Overstreet and Al Gore. ...THE Al Gore, the former Vice-President???? Can it be?)