Selkie Westbourne's new book on the "Out of Cage" experience, as he calls it, has certainly raised some furry little eyebrows out there, and stimulated some hot debate between runs on the exercise wheel.

Formerly known for his entertaining books on hamster life inside the everyday Cage, Selkie has now ventured into formerly unknown territory, claiming that there is a real, tactile universe of apparently infinite dimension and extraordinary variety...just beyond the walls of the Cage!

As Selkie puts it..."Be prepared to be astounded. Your world does not end at the bars of your cage, in fact it only begins there. Your food does not magically materialize in your food bowl, but is imported on a regular basis from almost unimaginable distances, through highly complex inter-cage technologies that can cover distances more vast than any of us are capable of imagining. Nor does this happen by chance. There is a kindly hand, as it were, seeing to the well-being of all of us, and it is through the mysterious intervention of this divine and intelligent source that the Cage itself is maintained, so say nothing of the food, water, and bedding which we have all grown to take for granted."

Startling assertions indeed! While some hamsters are quick to jump on the wheel and accept this amazing new thesis as gospel, cooler heads in the scientific community warn of the dangers of cult psycho-babble and hearsay.

"It makes me sick when I hear this sort of balderdash," states Professor Quentin Haphollow, one of science's most distinguished hamsters. "There is simply not one shred of evidence supporting the notion that a vast undiscovered reality lies beyond the walls of the Cage," he goes on. "None of our lab experiments suggest anything of the sort! Selkie Westbourne isn't out of his cage...he's out of his mind."

Selkie has a quick answer to that: "Their lab experiments have all occurred within the confines of the Cage itself," he retorts. Until they venture outside it, as I have, they are merely engaging in close-minded, conventional ignorance, like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand."

Yes, Selkie claims to have been outside the cage. Not once, not twice, but on numerous occasions. He describes vast constructions..."many mansions"...apparently built by non-rodent life, for purposes as yet unknown. These mansions reputedly contain numerous extraordinary objects and are inhabited by living beings of immense size, but kindly intentions. In fact, it was those very beings which allegedly opened a "doorway" in the cage, and allowed Selkie to cross over into an alternate, and much larger reality, and then to return.

Selkie's personal accounts of direct encounters with these alien beings have aroused furious debate. "It's ludicrous!" states Professor Haphollow. "No creature could possibly attain the physical dimensions of these reputed aliens described in Selkie's book, and still function. Science has proven that beyond the shadow of a doubt. He claims that these beings are providing us with food and water. Ridiculous! Why would they? Everyone knows that food grows in the food dish through natural processes, and that the water condenses directly out of the atmosphere, and fills the water bottle. This is kindergarten knowledge. I shudder to think of impressionable young hamsters reading this garbage..."

What is this writer's opinion? Well, it's all very intriguing, but I wouldn't rush out to buy tickets to any "Out-of-Cage" vacation paradise yet! Best to suspend judgement on this one, until some really concrete evidence can be found and confirmed within the normal Cage as we know it. But don't let that stop you from enjoying an exciting and imaginative read that will no doubt be transferred to the fiction section sometime early next year....though it's a best seller on the nonfiction list now. No one can say that Selkie Westbourne doesn't entertain.

- Festely Nicklesworth for Hamster World of Books in Review, 2001