Hi salsgirl,

I have heard your "First Prize" story as a joke. No music, no rhymes. Allan MacLeod and others tell it.

The Black Watch cam' doon tae London Toon for the big tatoo in Earrrrl's Coort. After the tatoo, the lads whent oot on the toon. Corporal MacTavish had more than the rest. As it cam' up tae currrrfew time, MacTavish wandered aff drunkenly frae his mates.

As the sun cam' up next morrrrnin' Corporal MacTavish was flat oot on a grassy bank in Hyde Parrrrk.

3 wee girrrrls were skippin' across the grass on their way to school. They stopped at the sight o' Corporal MacTavish.

Felicity said to Penelope and Tish, "What is it?"

"A soldier," said Tish.

"But he's wearing a little dress," said Felicity.

"Oh, silly, it's a Scottish kilt," said Penelope.

"What's underneath?" said Felicity.

"Oh, do lift and let's see," they all said.

Ever so carefully, the 3 girls lifted back the kilt to uncover his stallion. Felicity thought it silly but Tish took a blue ribbon from her bonnet and tied it around the stallion.

Hours later, MacTavish came to his senses. He struggled to his feet and sought relief behind a tree. As he lifted his kilt, there was his stallion with a blue ribbon tied around.

"Och, laddie, I dinnie know what ye werrrre up tae last night but I'm glad tae see ye won Firrrrst Prrrrize.

Just 1 piece of advice, lassie, give a thoucht before ye tell yer Ma!

All the best.