LOL Richard,
This reminded me of a birthday card that I sent to my daughter, the verse goes like this

There's squeaky ones and rumbly ones that quiver in your belly
Noisy blasts never last, its the quiet ones that are smelly
Some can be musical, with a rhythm like a drum
Hot ones must be used with care for they can scorch your bum
While all of these are potent, their powers are quite small
Cos I've heard that one of yours can clear the Albert Hall

Patrish xx