The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #36252   Message #504200
Posted By: hesperis
11-Jul-01 - 01:58 PM
Thread Name: Sign on the dotted line Kid!
Subject: RE: Sign on the dotted line Kid!

I can only tell you what I see from the heart. If you were a member, I would send you a private message about this. Since you are not a member, this must be spoken openly.

Please listen to my words as you would like to be listened to, and sense the goodwill behind them.

I see that you feel that your words should speak for themselves, regardless of the "face" behind them. That is a very idealistic point of view. And to you, the identity of GUEST is a blank "face".

To many members of mudcat, GUEST does not have a blank face. The "face" of GUEST has been abused, and is a face of horror for many here. Even though they try to take your words at face value, they cannot, for the face is covered in grime. The words come out smeared in a foul substance.

Yes, it is prejudice. Yes, prejudice is wrong.

Yet, human beings are not perfect. If someone has abused you while wearing a mask, anyone else who picks up that mask will trigger memories and suspicion. If those memories are triggered, it is very difficult to listen to their words as new. The words will be seen as coming from the same source, not as a new one.

Adding a small identifier to the GUEST handle lets us know that this GUEST has a different face than the abusive GUEST did. And we are able to look at their words in a new way.

If I try to look at your words without taking the previous history of GUEST into account, you look like a person of sense. You look like a person who wants to play with a mask on, and is hurt that people don't know who they are behind the mask.

Please, seperate your identity from the abusive mask. Add sparkles, or a bead, or choose a symbol, so that we know you are a new face, and not a troll.

I have seen some GUESTs who merely sign an initial or something at the bottom of their posts. They look like a normal GUEST until you read to the bottom, and see something like


PS: If we must agree to disagree on this, that's ok.
Please don't give up on mudcat because Spaw hurt you by overreacting. He has truly been hurt, and cannot look past that. If you also react in pain, he will take that as confirmation of his prejudice, not as your own pain at being misunderstood.