kat,

thanks for the additional information.

However, I'm surprised that you write this to me:
If you reread this, without your kat-kritical-kap on, you will see that she is not yet 24, that I knew the owners and that I'd told her I would call them

None of these informations were in your posts in this thread (I did not read all of the other posts, but I doubt that these informations were in posts by others). Had they been in your posts my post would have been different. Can it be that you mix up what you have written in PMs to others and what you have written in this thread? I object to your imputation that I did not read your posts with care.

Kat, I'm a parent and a child and I try to understand both parts and often I find fault in both (except of course, when I happen to be one part than it is only the other part that is wrong; at least until a good friend comes and challenges my point of view). Others may just virtually hug you and support you, that's fine and needed, but my way is different. If my way is slapping for you, I regret this but what arrives as slapping has not left my pen as that.

You do not need to explicitely call your daughter 'child' when she listens to make her feel that you think she still is one. One of the bigger mistakes parents among my friends make with their young adult sons and daughters is to let them feel which way ever that what they think, plan, want or do is still childlike and not well considered and they'd better listen to their parents. That is counterproductive even if it is true (and in my experience more often than not it is true). There is only one good remedy in these situations: distance. And I'm glad for all of you that you'll soon have this remedy.

Wolfgang