djh,

I've been there, as well--I guess most of my bands ended up that way, and it is depressing. I finally realized that, though in regular life, people are difficult for a variety of reasons, people who are regularly act out negative and counterproductive behavior in a band situation do it for a single reason, and that is to undermine the band. Simple as that. Usually it is an ego conflict, a pissing contest, if you will--sometimes it is based in real artistic differences, differences in taste, etc, but a lot of the time, it comes out of feeling threatened, generally by some one elses talent.

The problem person feels irrational need to be in control, and gets in the way anytime anyone else tries to do anything--This can be be anything from overintellectualized and heated discussions that interupt rehearsals, to refusing to be the one who changes when the tempo is off--

Another thing that happens is that, even though it may be clear that one person is a problem, everyone else gets blamed for being unable to get along. There is only one way out, and that is to get rid of the problem person--And this holds true if you are "Only in it for the money", since sooner or later, the problem will interfer with your ability to perform, and you'll start losing gigs.

Denise,

Your situation may not be as dire--have a talk, away from the others, about what is going on here. If she is really only concerned about getting the music right, you'll know by the way she responds--if there is hidden weirdness involved, that will be clear by the way she responds as well--

Not Larry,

You've gotta find some other people to play with. I've had people who expected to be paid for things that nobody else was being paid for, and they are people of such low character that no amount of talent makes up for it--