.... and then there are those dreaded job evaluations:
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>Actual lines out of U.S. Military Officer Evaluation Report
> >Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
> >Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
> >A room temperature IQ..
> >Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
> >A prime candidate for natural deselection.
> >Bright as Alaska in December.
> >Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train >isn't coming
> >So dense, light bends around him.
> >If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
> >If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
> >Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
> >Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
> >-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:
> >His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
> >I would not breed from this officer.
> >He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his >entire satisfaction.
> >He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
> >This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
> >This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals >from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
> >Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has >started to dig.
> >She sets low personal standards and then consistently >fails to achieve them.
> >He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
> >Works well when under constant supervision and cornered >like a rat in a trap.
> >This man is depriving a village some where of an idiot.
>