sorry for the ghost post. To answer some questions that have been asked- I am the band leader, we don't make all lot of money and my primary motivation is fun. The third member is the newest member of the trio and he prefers to stay out of it, who can blame him. I have been down a player before and it has been hard filling the slot,and he is not easily replaced he has been with me since the beginning and is an exceptional musician.
There was a time when we were friends.When this thing started he was very supportive. 3 years later , all we got is a pile of ridiculous resentments. Most of which are the practice of externalisating his demons on me with displacement, defensiveness, insecurity,paranoia,and self loathing crap.
I used to be sympathetic as I watched him struggle with the world and his issues. But , since becoming " one of His problems" I no longer sympathize. We all live in the heaven or hell of our own design , people in their own personal hell shouldn't be trying to drag others in, but inevitably I guess they always do.
On a funnier note the problem really kicked up when he bought a fiddle last summer, no joke.
Thanks for the advice and kind words . - DJH