My ex used to drive me nuts saying, "You should have turned left/right back there."

During WW2, an American soldier was on a train in England. The only seat without a human passenger was occupied by a little dog. The soldier asked the lady to please put the dog in her lap and allow him to sit down. She lit into him saying, "Cant you see that seat is taken? Really! you Yanks are so pushy!" The soldier went through the cars, and found that there were no seats, so, he returned to the lady and the dog. He said "Madam, there are no seats, may I please have this one?" She had a fit, "Sir, I told you that seat is occupied, dont you understand English?" With that, the soldier picked the dog up and threw it out the window, then sat down. She screamed at a gentleman across the way, "Did you see what this bloody Yank did? They are so rude and uncivilized." The Englishman said, "Yes, I know, they eat with the wrong hand, they drive on the wrong side of the road, and this one just threw the wrong bitch off the train!"