How many shrinks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one--but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

How many conservatives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 10. One to change the bulb, and nine to stand around saying how much better the old bulb was.

How many government workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four. One to change the bulb, and three to file environmental impact statements.