I heard a rumour that this thread was about me, but I'm not sure, because my own computer hookup to the Net has been incapacitated all day today...Friday the 13th. I am now using a friend's computer to access Mudcat. How about that, eh?

If it was, indeed, referring to me, then it is an entirely accurate observation. I have an exceedingly scrawny arse, which fairly well matches the rest of my anatomy in scrawniness.

In fact, I once mooned Mike Harris (the Conservative dictator of Ontario), and was NOT EVEN NOTICED! I also streaked the 1979 feminist's conference at Trent University's Wenjack Theatre..onstage...in front of an audience of at least 400 testosterone-intolerant females.

Nobody noticed that either.

There are advantages to this malady, however. It's very easy to melt away into the crowd, which can be handy on numerous occasions. If I were inclined to rob banks, I can see where this could be very convenient indeed. Perhaps I have taken up the wrong profession?

The thing that's really troubling me is...who would launch a thread like this? Who would wish to draw attention to my anatomical assets/liabilities/what-have-you? Who would stoop so low?

A person with no restraint, that's who. A person with no sense of decency. A vile wretch beyond redemption. A friend.

There are very few people who have seen me in swimming trunks and most of them live in Orillia...

Case almost closed.

On the other hand, maybe I am off on a complete tangent here, and the thread was actually about Spaw...or Amergin...or Lepus Rex (where has he been anyway?).

If so, then I am simply blowing bubbles here, and wasting both my time and yours, if you've had the fortitude to read this far.

You out there, flattop?

- LH