seems to me there needs to be a handicapping system...

Coy wife to husband: "Dear, wouldn't you like to carry me upstairs to bed like you used to?"

Husband:."No, dear, I don't think so...you'd better walk"

Petulant wife:"Well, you sure aren't as gallant as you were when I was a gal!"

Weary husband:"But, dear...you aren't as buoyant and you were when I was a boy"