So many good songs already - here's a slightly different angle.

The tune is 'Cod Liver Ile', in the DT, but it's essentially a slight variation on Sweet Betsy from Pike,

Medicine Man

Patient 1
O Doctor, O Doctor, the pain in my ear
Since last time I saw you it's got worse, I fear.
The tablets you gave me just don't do the trick
And I think I'm in danger of going deaf quick.

Doctor
Let me look at the problem. Ah yes; now I see.
The cause of your deafness is quite clear to me
I'll remove the remnants, and then you will hear
And then swallow the tablets; they don't go in your ear.

Patient 2
O Doctor, O Doctor, I'm pregnant again.
How it happened I don't know, the why, where or when
The pills that you gave me I took without doubt -
The problem might be that they kept falling out!

Doctor
Yes, pregnant again – may it still bring you joy
In eight months or more, a fine girl or a boy
Let me give you a lesson in sound birth control –
What you do with those pills is you swallow them whole!

Patient 3
O Doctor, O Doctor, I can't please my wife
It's getting the cause of more trouble and strife
The spray that you gave me, I didn't forget
Nor did I get stiff – I just got a bit wet

Doctor
They say that Viagra's a wonderful cure
If you use it correctly it'll help you, I'm sure
That spray doesn't spray on where you think it goes –
What to do with the spray? Stick it right up your nose!