The song was a Condolezza Schwartz ditty, during her ill-timed "folk-rock prophecy" period, since it was released in 1974, but it did have a catchy beat. Condolezza beamed as the dancers hit the floor, and mouthed what she could remember of the words. It was called "Love is Two Consonants, One Vowel, and The Rest is Silence": --

"You say to me come to Ohio, but did you know
That you can get high between the first o and the last, baby?
That there is many a mile between the beginning and the end of smiles, baby?
Love is our suitcases coming down the carousel at the airport together, and falling all over each other the way they do sometimes, and
All We Are Saying Is Love Is Two Consonants, One Vowel, and the Rest is Silence!!!!!!!!!"

(Heavy Power Chords for 30 seconds. The hamster and the vole bounce up and down. The bar fills with dance and smoke.)
"Oh Baby, do I have to wait for continental drift to bring us together?
You are like Greenland, which is bigger on the map than it is in reality,
But it is all a projection, Mercator, equator,
See you later, alligator
Love is like when you wake up in the morning and you look over at the alarm clock and you have five more minutes before you have to get up, and then you go back to sleep and you wake up and you look over at the alarm clock and you still have five more minutes before you have to get up, and you go back to sleep for about five seconds and then you sit up because your alarm clock has died, and you are way late for work, BAAAAAABBBBYYYY!!!
All We Are Saying IS LOVE IS TWO CONSONANTS, ONE VOWEL, AND THE REST IS SILENCE!!!! (Loud Noise!!!!!"

Everyone applauds. Trail Mix turns to Uncle and says: "Might I get you a lemonade, ma'am?"